REGURGITATIONS

Hymenoplasty , that's right, modern medicine has again stepped up where common sense and integrity dare not tread. Surgeons are now reconstructing the hymen. That's right the elusive and somewhat mythical hymen, the twenty-first century's vaginal Bigfoot, has become the new medical focus. It seems some "experienced" men are upset their non-hypocritical brides-to-be may have led them to believe they posses more than the eye can see. One such duped husband, upset at his new brides deception, waived he and his wife's blood-free bedclothes at the still present wedding party and coerced a confession from his beleaguered bride. This event begs the questions 1) how long did this bridal party go on? and 2) did the husband excuse he and his wife from the nuptial celebration to take his new brides virginity? Clearly the wife has made quite a catch in such a romantic. The hymenoplasty in not only serving those who voluntarily lost their hymens but also those who h...

It seems the tough street-wise citizens of Newark, NJ cannot endure the temptation presented by a billboard which has invaded their community. The billboard, created by the Final Exit Network, advocates assisted-suicide for the terminally ill and reads "My Life. My Death. My Choice.". These tough minded Newark citizens believe the mere mention of suicide to their young community members may be received as a more palatable option than actually living in Newark. I have visited Newark......and I can understand their fears. If I have misinterpreted their motivation then I might only suggest Newark citizens are jealous and believe everyone should suffer the slow, painful and inhumane existence to which they have grown accustomed. I am not calloused to the concerns for the young but if Snookie and the Situation succumb to the temptation the billboard suggests then I can only conclude the desire of the many have triumphed over the few. As for other communities where this billbo...

ALLEGEDLY a Dad punched his 9 year old son in the face at a little league baseball game. The story is the son was on third base when he was picked off. Once called out the son lost his temper with the umpire who called him out and threw his helmet. At this point his Dad, and coach of the Little League team, exited the dugout and punched his son in the face twice. The umpires then called the police. Clearly the son and the umpires have a lot to answer for regarding this incident. First, what kind of dumbass kid gets picked off at third base? Obviously he has some sort of attention disorder and I am sure the Dad has been suffering at the hands of this kid for 9 years. Obviously critics of this father have never spent time around an ADD kid. Also, the actions of the father not only got the attention of the kid but also the national media so the father's supposed irrational behavior actually accomplished the objective. Sounds like good parenting, I believe the son now knows not to...

One of the best shows I have been involved in or listened to occurred today at KAZI 88.7 FM. The Juice and Jam show produced by the suave and silky smooth voice of Steve Savage produced one of the most entertaining and informative shows to date. Steve brought in D. Ivan Young who was doling out exceptional relationship advice and promoting his book "BREAK UP, DON'T BREAK DOWN". He was assisted in his dispensation of advice by the energetic street-wisdom of the show's host Kelvin Girdy. Steve Savage also incorporated the female point of view in the discussion by bringing in the lovely and talented Samantha Golden. As for me I just listened and laughed with the growing audience. It was my honor to share the mic with such a talented group of individuals. Look out Austin KAZI 88.7 FM is taking over!!! Check out the crew at KAZIFM.org every Thursday from 9am-12.

THE PALINS HAVE EMERGED FROM THEIR DOUBLE WIDE TO ISSUE A STATEMENT THAT DAUGHTER BRISTOL IS ENGAGED. IT HAS ALSO BEEN REVEALED BRISTOL WILL BE SAVING HERSELF UNTIL THE WEDDING NIGHT (ALL OF SIX WEEKS). SHE HAS A BABY ALREADY!!! THIS IS AKIN TO A DRUNK DRIVER KILLING A PEDESTRIAN AND CLAIMING HE WILL NOT DRINK UNTIL THE TRIAL. THIS IS THE SAME PALIN FAMILY WHO BELIEVED THEIR DAUGHTER'S LIFE WAS NOT OF PUBLIC CONCERN THAT ISSUED THE STATEMENT REGARDING THE SIX WEEK "RE-VIRGINITY" PERIOD. AS IF THIS "NEWS" WAS NOT REPULSIVE ENOUGH, IT TURNS OUT THE GROOM TO BE IS NONE OTHER THAN THE BABY'S DADDY, LEVI JOHNSTON!!!! THAT'S RIGHT THE SAME LEVI JOHNSTON WHO POSED FOR PLAYGIRL AND IS STARRING IN A SOON-TO-BE RELEASED SEX TAPE. THIS IS THE PALIN FAMILY AT THEIR BEST. SUPPOSEDLY SCANTILY CLAD LEVI IS A CHANGED MAN. CHANGE BEING THE APPARENT MOTIVATION FOR LEVI'S DECISION AS THIS WAS ALL HE WAS ABLE TO MAKE AS A "MOVIE STAR". LOOK ...

BP has placed a "top hat" on the oil well. I can only assume if this does not solve the problem the next choices will be the thimble, the shoe and the car. Who is running this repair effort? Milton Bradley. Sounds eerily like a do or die game of Monopoly for the Gulf Coast. Surely there will be a criminal investigation into this matter. Hopefully BP executives will soon be rolling the dice for a "get out of jail free" card.