REGURGITATIONS

                      (Sing along to the tune of  "The Candy Man Can")                                          Who can make a drink?                                          Who can make a drink?                                           And sprinkle it with rape.  ...

      When I was a child my father, in anger, would tell me, "I put a roof over your head, clothes on your back and food on the table! The reality is my father had to do that.  Failure to provide food, clothing and shelter for a child is considered child abuse.  I owed him nothing.  He was doing what he was supposed to do.  I did not choose to have children.  He did.  It is the immature and potentially abusive parent that has a need to receive credit for providing the bare legal minimum.       This childhood situation is eerily familiar to another situation I have encountered in my travels as a comedian.  I have had the great fortune to travel across the nation and perform for many military members including many wounded warriors.  Following shows, I have spent much time in conversation with many wounded warriors, both married and divorced.  These discussions have led to an all too common revelation.   ...

     I was contacted last week by a southern comedy club who was very interested in booking me for a week as their headliner.  They expressed one concern, my FB page.  They had reservations that I, sporadically, post Christian memes (John Hagee and Joel Osteen) with anti-Christian messages.  They felt my posts ran contrary to the belief system of their audience.  I completely understood their concerns.  Essentially they felt I do not uphold their community standards.  They did not ask I cease to post such commentary but that I simply do not address religious issues on their stage.  I do not usually address religion in my act so this was not a concession with which I had difficulty.  I assured them I would not address their belief system and we moved forward without a problem.      Nonetheless as the day progressed the interaction occupied much of my thought process.  As I looked closer at my emotional rea...

Donald Sterling has decided he will not be voluntarily tied to a tree while the NBA attempts to whip him.   He will fight back despite the NBA’s attempts to chop off his foot.   I appreciate his fighting spirit and his obvious attempts to further thin the veil of his racist attitudes with further racist and ignorant remarks.   He is entitled to his views.   Some of us may find them offensive and reminiscent of a shameful time but I am sure he is not the only NBA owner who has such views.   He is simply the only one stupid enough to express them in a PRIVATE conversation which was eventually made public.   Private conversations should not be made public but once they are one cannot place the Genie back in the bottle.   Now the NBA and the public must deal with the consequences of Sterling’s words.      Sterling’s unwillingness to go quietly into the night is a dream come true for me.   His unrepentant attitude will forc...

Local San Antonio radio talk show host, Joe Pags, posted this ignorant and/or stupid comment on his FaceBook page: "Let me be as direct as I can be. If there's nothing out of the ordinary for a person to be gay. If, in fact, acceptance and tolerance are the only allowable reactions -- then why exactly did ESPN lead with a mediocre football player being drafted? Why did they show him kissing his boyfriend after the call came in? Why did they focus on this man so much and not the other 200-some odd players dr afted? If this is not big deal and we are not supposed to see any difference whatsoever, why is ESPN and the rest of the media sensationalizing this story? You're a sports network. You are NOT TMZ or Entertainment tonight. Tell me why, as a sports viewer, I should care about this player being drafted and how he will or will not help his new team. Period." I decided to respond on my FaceBook page to his post and the ensuing thread it creat...

     Is the NFL ready for an openly gay football player?  That is the question tossed around by every news organization.   We ponder this question as if it is legitimate.  We pretend gay football players have not existed previously.  More than a couple of former NFL players have admitted they were gay as far back as the 1970's.  I am quite sure gay football players existed previously.  Yet we act as if it is something new.  The new part is the "openly."  From the reactions of some players I can surmise they believe "openly gay" means homosexual players will be playing on Sundays with their penises outside their football pants.  It seems to be common knowledge among some NFL'ers that the gay penis suffers from some sort of Butthole ADD and spends all it's time jumping randomly from one exposed butthole to another.        Not a single NFL player has expressed outrage at the members of his profession be...

     News reports today reveal four individuals have been arrested and stand accused of providing the drugs which killed Phillip Seymour Hoffman.  This is a surprise.  I was under the impression Hoffman killed himself with illegal drugs.  In America's rush to hold no individual responsible for their own actions we will now focus our animus on the drug dealers who held Hoffman down and forced the drugs into his system via needle.  What, they didn't hold him down and force him to take the drugs?  You mean they simply supplied the drugs which he requested.  How are the drug dealers responsible for Hoffman's death when gun manufacturers are not held responsible for over 19,000 suicides with a firearm and thousands of other accidental deaths a year.  It has been reported over fifty baggies of heroin were found in his apartment.  Was his partner unaware of his addiction?  She could not have been because the public was aware of i...

 The first amendment graces each individual American with the right to free speech.  Unstated but inherently part of this right is the right to be both inspired and offended by those who exercise this free speech right.  The Bill of Rights guarantees the United States government cannot stop an individual citizen from exercising their first amendment rights.  The first amendment does not guarantee the individual will avoid consequences by private industry or individual citizens.  A United States citizen can say anything they wish to say.  I am fully in favor of this right.  I want to hear your opinions and feelings.  It better allows me to judge you.  I can make a quicker assumption about you if you open your mouth and express your belief systems.  Of course I will reserve final judgment based on your actions.  It is your actions which concern me most.  You may hold any opinion or view you wish but when that opinion or view b...