THE DEATH OF PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY
I am not attempting to kick someone when they are down but I am attempting to introduce rational thought into a discussion which is becoming more irrational by the moment. The article below outlines the suicide of four teenagers who lived in the same community. Each teenager supposedly succumbed to the temptation of suicide at the hand(s) of a cyber-bully(s). These suicides are a needless tragedy but are not the result of cyber-bulllying and are most definitely not the fault of the school or educators involved with these children. The responsibility for these suicides fall at the feet of the parents and the children themselves. Poor parenting and poor role models are the culprits in these suicides. Some of the parents are attempting to blame the school and specific educators for the death of their children. It is not the responsibility of the school or the educators to raise others children or serve as their bodyguard. This is the task of the parents. I will take a closer look at each case in the article below:
1) Sladjana Vidovic- her parents are suing the school district. The parents stated they begged the school to intervene. Jana was receiving phone calls in the dead of night in addition to being bullied at school. The school cannot control phone calls made or received at HOME. Jana had withdrawn from school a week prior to her suicide. How is the school responsible for bullying during this week? The family stated the girls who bullied Jana walked up to her casket and laughed during her funeral. This begs the question "why did Jana's parents allow these girls to attend her funeral?" THE PARENTS FAILED TO PROTECT HER BOTH IN LIFE AND IN DEATH!
2) Eric Mokat- his parents are suing the school district. Eric shot himself. Where did he get the gun? I would guess the parent(s). Eric's parents encouraged and allowed their son to attend school with a stuffed animal (monkey) attached to his arm. They found it to be cute. Did his parents not anticipate the consequences of allowing such behaviors? If he was five okay but he was not. This is bad parenting. Parents must set boundaries for their children. No monkeys, no guns and no suicide would have been a good starting point.
3) Meredith Rezak- she committed suicide three weeks after her good friend Eric. A year later her older brother killed himself. This March her only remaining sibling, a 21 year old, died of an overdose. Meredith's boyfriend stated her suicide was not related to school or cyber-bullying but family problems. The mother was contacted and it was stated she sounded disconnected and confused. This is understandable considering her circumstances but might we question if she was disconnected and confused prior to the suicides? Clearly this family had serious problems. These problems were not caused by the school, it's staff or cyber-bullying.
4) Jennifer Eyring- committed suicide by overdosing on anti-depressants, HER MOTHER'S ANTI-DEPRESSANTS. Jennifer downed enough anti-depressants to kill herself and proceded to tell her parents it would make her feel better. Where would a child get such an idea? From her parents.The mother stated Jennifer "would be alive today if she was not bullied". I believe Jennifer might be alive today if her mother had kept her prescription medication under lock and key. Have charges been filed against her mother yet?
The article goes on to include statements by national anti-bullying expert (does this mean she took a lot of ass beatings or gave a lot?) Barbara Coloroso. Ms. Coloroso states the school allowed a "culture of mean" to thrive and school officials should be held responsible for the suicides- along with the bullies. This statement as it pertains to these four suicides makes me want to beat the shit out of Ms.Coloroso. She is enabling a family who is not accepting their roles in the suicides of their children.
These children needed coping skills to deal with the INHERENT cost of being different. These parents did not accept this responsibility when their children were alive and fail to accept their role in their children's death. The school and bullies are not to blame. Both have existed and will continue to exist well into our future. What is ceasing to exist in today's society is personal responsibility. If you have a child then RAISE it! It is not the school or the educator's child!
By failing to accept parental responsibility and identifying the deceased children as victims you only encourage such suicidal behaviors. These parents and THESE CHILDREN were irresponsible and selfish. This is the message which should be conveyed to surviving students. Students should not view the deceased child as a role model or view them as being glorified in death. Suicide should not be touted as the only available option for a tortured child. Suicide should be identified as the selfish and disrespectful option of a confused child. Blame should be placed where it belongs - on the parents and the children.
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