AN ELEVEN YEAR 3-DAY WEEKEND
DESPICABLE DOUBLE STANDARD
Today I had the opportunity to watch Dr. Phil's interview with the mother that voluntarily disappeared eleven years ago, Brenda Heist. Brenda, after dropping her two children at school, sat on a park bench and wept under the stress of her impending divorce. She stated she did not believe she would be able to financially provide for her two children. As she sat crying on the park bench a group of homeless people wandered by and eventually Barbara left with this group. She would eventually make her way to Florida where approximately eleven years later she would turn herself in thinking there was an arrest warrant out on her.
America has been riveted by this story. It was national headlines for days. Today Dr. Phil McGraw interview Barbara for the first time. I missed the first fifteen minutes of the interview but it did not take much time to get my blood boiling. At least three times Dr. Phil asked "How could a mother leave her children?" The tone and manner in which Dr. Phil asked the question greatly disturbed me. Barbara responded on each occasion "She did not know how she did it." Dr. Phil seem exasperated that a mother could leave her children. Let me see if I can answer the question, Dr. Phil.
She was able to up and leave her children just like men do every fucking day. Why doesn't Dr. Phil interview these men? I will answer that question. Because his daily talk show would be booked for the next millenium. Men leaving their children with the mother happens so often it is not even a newsworthy event. Barbara Heist didn't leave her children in the middle of the desert, on a highway shoulder or at home alone. She left them at school from which they would return and find their father. America, and Dr. Phil, have responded as if she abandoned them in some mall a thousand miles from home. She did not.
Barbara Heist decided she was not fit to be a mother and left the children with their father. The reverse of this scenario happens everyday. Dr. Phil seemed to believe Barbara's actions were unbelievable and despicable. Does he believe it is despicable when the father does the same? I have never seen him, or the national media, place the "fleeing father" as front page news. Yet, Barbara Heist is painted as a monster.
Barbara Heist is painted as an immoral and irresponsible parent for the same reason a woman with numerous sexual partners is labeled a slut/whore. A man leaves his children with their mother or grandmother and this is called Tuesday. A man has numerous sexual partners and he is labeled a "player." I am not endorsing Barbara Heist's actions but I am unequivocably stating that her actions have met with such disdain and disapproval because she is a woman.
This is how a male-dominated, good-ole'-boy society has arranged it. The mother is responsible for the children. Any mother who does not accept this responsibility is deemed irresponsible and immoral. This unspoken arrangement is the foundation of traditional family values. The man ventures out into the world and the woman stays at home and raises the kids. Only a selfish, irresponsible, despicable, dick-chasing whore would leave her kids.... to their father.
It is the old axiom, endorsed by men, that "Mother knows best." Implying a mother knows what is best for her children. This is absolute bullshit. This mother had enough sense to realize she did not know what was best for her children. Barbara Heist realized what many mothers refuse to acknowledge. The ability to give birth to a child does not make one qualified to raise a child. Quite often, mothers do not know best. This is evidenced by the many children who are on prescription medications, the mothers on prescription medications, the children on illegal drugs and the high rate of teen suicide. I am not attempting to imply father's know best. I am stating father's aren't expected to know best. The father isn't expected to deal with such issues. That is part of the reason this story was newsworthy. Barbara Heist left her children with their father. Every one knows that retarded motherfucker is not going to be able to handle this situation on his own. This is exactly how men want it viewed. Raising a child is woman's work. Making a living and fucking the sexy neighbor..... that is a job for a man.
Men know a woman with a child is a woman with less options. She is less likely to attract another man and she is less likely to leave a shitty situation. This is why men enjoy children being the responsibility of the woman. A woman is expected to be the glue that holds a family together, even if the man has another family in another town. A woman is expected to eat shit at home and smile pretty for the public camera. As long as men can tie children to women the man can threaten to let them all sink. Women, assisted by this bullshit propaganda, will attempt to hold together the Titanic knowing if the ship goes down the man will find solace on a piece of floating wood while Rose and the kids drown in the icy cold water.
Yet Americans don't want to hear this truth. We want to buy the bullshit that is being pitched to us. The same bullshit it seemed Dr. Phil was preaching..... a mother should always be with her children. Dr. Phil should know better. He is a trained professional. For us to believe this horseshit we would have to ignore the mothers that fuck their children, pimp their children, drive their children into a lake, turn a blind eye to their children being molested by a husband or boyfriend, starve their children, poison their children, violently beat their children, leave their children in a drunken, violent home and overall neglect their children. America wants to gleefully and ignorantly teach their kids about Stranger Danger while purposely ignoring the documented evidence that three quarters of the time a child is molested by a family member and over half the time a child is abducted by a spouse/ex-spouse. We want the wool pulled over our eyes and we will go to the trouble of shearing the sheep if that will make reality go away faster.
Brenda Heist did the best thing for her children. She got the fuck out! I know this was the best thing because Barbara Heist is one crazy motherfucker. She went off with a group of homeless people she met that day. No one in their right fuckin' mind does that. She didn't just hang out with them at the park. She traveled from Pennsylvania to Florida. That is some dedicated and determined crazy. She remained invisible for eleven years. Four of those years she was homeless! She gave up hot meals, a bed, air conditioning and other modern home conveniences because she was fucking crazy. The press printed headlines that read Brenda was a beach bum. The press made it sound like she was hanging out with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello on the set of Beach Blanket Bingo. The woman was living well below the poverty line with an alcoholic boyfriend for seven years. This scenario was closer to Lost than Gilligan's Island. Brenda would eventually leave the alcoholic boyfriend. During the interview this resulted in the idiotic statement by Foghorn Leghorn (Dr. Phil) "so when things get tough you leave?" Yes that is exactly what you should do. You are living in squalor with an alcoholic. I take it she should stick around and wait for the beatings to begin. I have seen Dr. Phil, on many occasions, tell women in similar situations to pack their shit and hit the road. But that was not his advice on this occasion. On this particular occasion Brenda should have stayed. When she knew she couldn't handle being a single mom.... she should have stayed. When she couldn't tolerate an alcoholic boyfriend..... she should have stayed. Now that is crazy.
The reality is many more mothers need to leave. Some mothers are just shitty mothers. Brenda Heist seemed to know she couldn't handle it so she left her children..... with their fuckin' father. Could she have handled the situation better? Sure. But what she didn't do is repeat the idiotic behaviors of other shitty mothers in denial. She didn't stick around and subject her children to crazy. She has paid a price for her decision. Many want to say her children have paid a price. I cannot deny this. But would her children have paid a bigger price if she had stuck around? A crazy woman decided they would have. That is the kind of crazy I can live with.
Dr. Phil continually repeated that Brenda's children believed she was dead. Well, she's not, so that's a good thing. He wanted to know why she didn't call? Here is what I think.... I had rather think my mother is dead than she has chosen to ignore my existence other than the occasional fuckin' phone call. Brenda Heist chose the lesser of two evils. Maybe now the woman can get some help and be a competent parent to some degree or another. See she can do that because she isn't dead. And she might have a better chance at accomplishing that goal since she didn't call the kids every now and then and tell them, by her actions, "you aren't worth me coming back too."
The kind of crazy men can't live with is women who believe they do not have any more responsibility to their children than the father. That kind of crazy is intolerable to a man. So we demonize a crazy woman who gave up the comfort of a home and a family because she did not believe she could measure up as a parent. I know many molested, abused, neglected and dead kids that wish their mom had been this crazy.
As for you Dr. Phil, when you start bringing men on your show who regularly participate in such behaviors and heap guilt and disgust on them as you did Brenda Heist then I will begin to believe you are not part of the problem. Sound crazy?
America has been riveted by this story. It was national headlines for days. Today Dr. Phil McGraw interview Barbara for the first time. I missed the first fifteen minutes of the interview but it did not take much time to get my blood boiling. At least three times Dr. Phil asked "How could a mother leave her children?" The tone and manner in which Dr. Phil asked the question greatly disturbed me. Barbara responded on each occasion "She did not know how she did it." Dr. Phil seem exasperated that a mother could leave her children. Let me see if I can answer the question, Dr. Phil.
She was able to up and leave her children just like men do every fucking day. Why doesn't Dr. Phil interview these men? I will answer that question. Because his daily talk show would be booked for the next millenium. Men leaving their children with the mother happens so often it is not even a newsworthy event. Barbara Heist didn't leave her children in the middle of the desert, on a highway shoulder or at home alone. She left them at school from which they would return and find their father. America, and Dr. Phil, have responded as if she abandoned them in some mall a thousand miles from home. She did not.
Barbara Heist decided she was not fit to be a mother and left the children with their father. The reverse of this scenario happens everyday. Dr. Phil seemed to believe Barbara's actions were unbelievable and despicable. Does he believe it is despicable when the father does the same? I have never seen him, or the national media, place the "fleeing father" as front page news. Yet, Barbara Heist is painted as a monster.
Barbara Heist is painted as an immoral and irresponsible parent for the same reason a woman with numerous sexual partners is labeled a slut/whore. A man leaves his children with their mother or grandmother and this is called Tuesday. A man has numerous sexual partners and he is labeled a "player." I am not endorsing Barbara Heist's actions but I am unequivocably stating that her actions have met with such disdain and disapproval because she is a woman.
This is how a male-dominated, good-ole'-boy society has arranged it. The mother is responsible for the children. Any mother who does not accept this responsibility is deemed irresponsible and immoral. This unspoken arrangement is the foundation of traditional family values. The man ventures out into the world and the woman stays at home and raises the kids. Only a selfish, irresponsible, despicable, dick-chasing whore would leave her kids.... to their father.
It is the old axiom, endorsed by men, that "Mother knows best." Implying a mother knows what is best for her children. This is absolute bullshit. This mother had enough sense to realize she did not know what was best for her children. Barbara Heist realized what many mothers refuse to acknowledge. The ability to give birth to a child does not make one qualified to raise a child. Quite often, mothers do not know best. This is evidenced by the many children who are on prescription medications, the mothers on prescription medications, the children on illegal drugs and the high rate of teen suicide. I am not attempting to imply father's know best. I am stating father's aren't expected to know best. The father isn't expected to deal with such issues. That is part of the reason this story was newsworthy. Barbara Heist left her children with their father. Every one knows that retarded motherfucker is not going to be able to handle this situation on his own. This is exactly how men want it viewed. Raising a child is woman's work. Making a living and fucking the sexy neighbor..... that is a job for a man.
Men know a woman with a child is a woman with less options. She is less likely to attract another man and she is less likely to leave a shitty situation. This is why men enjoy children being the responsibility of the woman. A woman is expected to be the glue that holds a family together, even if the man has another family in another town. A woman is expected to eat shit at home and smile pretty for the public camera. As long as men can tie children to women the man can threaten to let them all sink. Women, assisted by this bullshit propaganda, will attempt to hold together the Titanic knowing if the ship goes down the man will find solace on a piece of floating wood while Rose and the kids drown in the icy cold water.
Yet Americans don't want to hear this truth. We want to buy the bullshit that is being pitched to us. The same bullshit it seemed Dr. Phil was preaching..... a mother should always be with her children. Dr. Phil should know better. He is a trained professional. For us to believe this horseshit we would have to ignore the mothers that fuck their children, pimp their children, drive their children into a lake, turn a blind eye to their children being molested by a husband or boyfriend, starve their children, poison their children, violently beat their children, leave their children in a drunken, violent home and overall neglect their children. America wants to gleefully and ignorantly teach their kids about Stranger Danger while purposely ignoring the documented evidence that three quarters of the time a child is molested by a family member and over half the time a child is abducted by a spouse/ex-spouse. We want the wool pulled over our eyes and we will go to the trouble of shearing the sheep if that will make reality go away faster.
Brenda Heist did the best thing for her children. She got the fuck out! I know this was the best thing because Barbara Heist is one crazy motherfucker. She went off with a group of homeless people she met that day. No one in their right fuckin' mind does that. She didn't just hang out with them at the park. She traveled from Pennsylvania to Florida. That is some dedicated and determined crazy. She remained invisible for eleven years. Four of those years she was homeless! She gave up hot meals, a bed, air conditioning and other modern home conveniences because she was fucking crazy. The press printed headlines that read Brenda was a beach bum. The press made it sound like she was hanging out with Frankie Avalon and Annette Funicello on the set of Beach Blanket Bingo. The woman was living well below the poverty line with an alcoholic boyfriend for seven years. This scenario was closer to Lost than Gilligan's Island. Brenda would eventually leave the alcoholic boyfriend. During the interview this resulted in the idiotic statement by Foghorn Leghorn (Dr. Phil) "so when things get tough you leave?" Yes that is exactly what you should do. You are living in squalor with an alcoholic. I take it she should stick around and wait for the beatings to begin. I have seen Dr. Phil, on many occasions, tell women in similar situations to pack their shit and hit the road. But that was not his advice on this occasion. On this particular occasion Brenda should have stayed. When she knew she couldn't handle being a single mom.... she should have stayed. When she couldn't tolerate an alcoholic boyfriend..... she should have stayed. Now that is crazy.
The reality is many more mothers need to leave. Some mothers are just shitty mothers. Brenda Heist seemed to know she couldn't handle it so she left her children..... with their fuckin' father. Could she have handled the situation better? Sure. But what she didn't do is repeat the idiotic behaviors of other shitty mothers in denial. She didn't stick around and subject her children to crazy. She has paid a price for her decision. Many want to say her children have paid a price. I cannot deny this. But would her children have paid a bigger price if she had stuck around? A crazy woman decided they would have. That is the kind of crazy I can live with.
Dr. Phil continually repeated that Brenda's children believed she was dead. Well, she's not, so that's a good thing. He wanted to know why she didn't call? Here is what I think.... I had rather think my mother is dead than she has chosen to ignore my existence other than the occasional fuckin' phone call. Brenda Heist chose the lesser of two evils. Maybe now the woman can get some help and be a competent parent to some degree or another. See she can do that because she isn't dead. And she might have a better chance at accomplishing that goal since she didn't call the kids every now and then and tell them, by her actions, "you aren't worth me coming back too."
The kind of crazy men can't live with is women who believe they do not have any more responsibility to their children than the father. That kind of crazy is intolerable to a man. So we demonize a crazy woman who gave up the comfort of a home and a family because she did not believe she could measure up as a parent. I know many molested, abused, neglected and dead kids that wish their mom had been this crazy.
As for you Dr. Phil, when you start bringing men on your show who regularly participate in such behaviors and heap guilt and disgust on them as you did Brenda Heist then I will begin to believe you are not part of the problem. Sound crazy?
Comments
Post a Comment