REGURGITATIONS

     I have often heard, in my three short years in comedy, the key to being a professional comedian is getting on stage and "not giving a shit."  Often this philosophy is attributed to Bill Hicks or George Carlin.  I know neither Hicks or Carlin personally but I can assure you... they gave a shit.  This is why they are not only professional comedians, they are legends.      For those who may have misunderstood this philosophy or simply be too stupid to understand, let me attempt to clarify.  The philosophy of "not giving a shit" refers to a comedian's failure to accept the the conventions, standards and collective perspective of society.  This "don't give a shit" mantra was advanced to encourage comedians to fight the "power" or "the man" with disdain and without fear of retaliation much like Dick Gregory, Lenny Bruce, George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock.  It is my understanding they were imp...

                            RAPE   -  A  DYING  ART  FORM      For as long as I can remember, rape has been viewed as a traumatic tragedy.  Recent events have brought light to this subject.  Finally, rape has been legitimized with what else?  Legitimate Rape.  It is about time.  Now it is my understanding that some rape is considered acceptable, if not honorable. This is a great day for rapist.  After all those years working in the shadows, the rapist can now proudly reveal themselves.  Undoubtedly, this is a proud moment in our country's history.      I can now rest easy at night knowing that maybe one day my little girl can be legitimately raped in a dark alley by a fully trained and licensed rapist.  No more concerns regarding a sexual assault...

                             BATMAN'S  GOT  A  GUN       For all you fake-ass John Wayne types who would have shot the "Batman Killer" through a haze of tear gas, if only all Americans could carry guns. The total dead would have exceeded a hundred and every single movie goer would have been wounded after your little gun-totin' bitch ass would have fearfully drawn your gun and fired in the darkness as your pistol slipped from your popcorn-buttered hands, killing the people next to you. Yes, that is the answer give everyone a gun. When they start bombing shit cause everyone has a gun, then lets give everyone a bomb. Fuck, after 9/11 we should have given everyone a plane. You carry a gun cause your a pussy, just like this young man. And when faced with such a tragic event you would have done what...

US Truth and World Report (USTWP) has gained an EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW with the man who shot seventeen year old Trayvon Martin. He has decided to speak with us and only us in his first EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW. US Truth and World Report met Trayvon Martin's killer in an undisclosed location. He sat down with us to answer questions before potentially being hauled in by the authorities to face possible criminal charges. As we sat down to discuss the tragic events of February 26, 2012 I asked the most widely-sought after man in America to state his name for the record. He stated with erect posture and a sly grin "my name is Barney Fife". USTWP : Mr. Fife, can you tell us what happened that tragic evening? FIFE : You can call me Barn. All my friends call me Barn. USTWP : Okay Barn. Can you tell us what happened that night? FIFE : I would be happy to oblige. It was a dark night and it was startin' to rain. I spied some movement in the shadows about twenty feet away and I ...

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I have watched as appalled and shocked as anyone at the disgusting details of the Penn State scandal. The sexual abuse and ensuing cover up are people at their worst. The outrage has been all encompassing. It seems every American has weighed in on the events and the ensuing scrutiny has brought down a university president, athletic director, and legendary head coach. Some have screamed for the abolition of the football program and the boarding up of the doors of the university. To think that such an esteemed academic institution would be a party to such acts is unfathomable to many. This university has been entrusted with young men and women and have willing shucked their responsibility. These institutions exist to educate and guide our young men and women. Instead some have abused their power and the young people entrusted to their care. If such actions and ensuing cover up had occurred with animals at PetSmart then PetSmart would already be sitting empty. If such act...

We have heard the details of the Penn State crimes. Jerry Sandusky, former long-time football assistant, molested children(s) on campus. Sandusky is a pervert and a sick individual. He is a predator. I do not believe anyone will argue with these facts. Beyond these facts, opinions will vary regarding the actions/inactions of others involved. Mike McCreary a 28 year old graduate assistant football coach WITNESSED the molestation. Upon witnessing the molestation (anal rape between Sandusky and a 10 year old child) he called his father. The NEXT MORNING McCreary and his father spoke with Joe Paterno the long-time head football coach of Penn State. TWO DAYS LATER Paterno reported the statements of McCreary to Paterno's supervisor, the Athletic Director. During the next NINE YEARS no one found it necessary to report the rape of a ten year old to the proper authorities (police). Since these revelations have been made PUBLIC the Penn State Athletic Director, President...